OdDs & eNdS

Just a few photos to sum up the odds and ends of this summer...

Bear Lake. Juanito Bandito. My mother's birthday. finishing school. rafting (and getting ship-wrecked on) the Provo River. saying see you later to my beautiful cousin Jenny Noel. old friends. new friends. late night adventures. good food. better people. homecomings. farewells. weddings. growing up. crafting and painting and organizing. puppies (making that 11 dogs in the Cook household). birthday parties. pudding cake. Robin Williams memories. parties. two year cancerversaries. summer dresses. spending a lot of time with Jesi and her family. singing Chess at the top of our lungs waaayyyy too often. watching downton abbey and dying inside when Matthew dies. some good movies. lots of family time. babysitting. studying. reading children's books out loud around campfires.

it has been a good, random, busy, different, up and down kind of summer.

Nantucket Nights

It's a 15x9 mile sandbar left behind by a glacier in the middle of the ocean and for the last two summers it has been a second home. It used to be the center of the world--it's whale oil lit all the corners of the all the kingdoms. Now it is a cozy, classy vacation and second home destination. At least it has been for the McMillian's for the last 20+ years. I am happy to be here with them for their last year here--even if it is a crazy summer flying back and forth for school. I came home a week ago, but the ten days I spent out there were wonderful--stressful at times but worth it all the same.

 watching the world cup

my baby girl

Anna Marie is like having a 5'4" two year old girl. The things that make her angry, the things that make her excited, how she slowly tiptoes around holding on to everything, how anything on the ground or within grabbing reach ends up in her mouth, the mischievous look in her eye, her nonsensical chatter, her "pretty dresses" and "big girl panties" we dress her in. I sing her lullabies, I clap with she counts to five or tells me that cows say "moo," and I hold her hand whenever we walk anywhere. I hold her when she cries and put her down for naps and tuck her in at night. She likes sparkly pink things and wants to do things "all by myself." We are potty training her, we use childproof gates on the doors and stairways, and we sleep next to her baby monitors. And you know she is up to no good if she is being quiet.

Some moments are so hard. Some days are longer than others, but then I have these moments where I am the only one who can make her smile, or she tells me she loves me when I take her to bed at night, or she calls me her beautiful girl. And watching her get so excited when we tell her how pretty she is or having moments with her where she suddenly starts to celebrate Germany winning the World Cup--it is so rewarding. And I have found that it is the moments where I am spoon feeding her or rubbing her back while she cries that I love her the most. She means so much to me and I know that no one really understands what it is that I do. They look at how much I get paid or all the other perks to this job and they think I am so lucky. And I am! I am the luckiest! But not because of all that, but because I get to love and be loved by someone like Anna Marie, not because I get paid well or get to eat at fancy restaurants and go on fancy vacations.

I love Anna Marie! I hope, at the end of the day, that she knows that--that she can feel it somehow! I love that I can take care of her and make her happy. I love that I know how to help her. I love that I can be there for her right now. I know it is exactly where I am suppose to be.