my baby girl

Anna Marie is like having a 5'4" two year old girl. The things that make her angry, the things that make her excited, how she slowly tiptoes around holding on to everything, how anything on the ground or within grabbing reach ends up in her mouth, the mischievous look in her eye, her nonsensical chatter, her "pretty dresses" and "big girl panties" we dress her in. I sing her lullabies, I clap with she counts to five or tells me that cows say "moo," and I hold her hand whenever we walk anywhere. I hold her when she cries and put her down for naps and tuck her in at night. She likes sparkly pink things and wants to do things "all by myself." We are potty training her, we use childproof gates on the doors and stairways, and we sleep next to her baby monitors. And you know she is up to no good if she is being quiet.

Some moments are so hard. Some days are longer than others, but then I have these moments where I am the only one who can make her smile, or she tells me she loves me when I take her to bed at night, or she calls me her beautiful girl. And watching her get so excited when we tell her how pretty she is or having moments with her where she suddenly starts to celebrate Germany winning the World Cup--it is so rewarding. And I have found that it is the moments where I am spoon feeding her or rubbing her back while she cries that I love her the most. She means so much to me and I know that no one really understands what it is that I do. They look at how much I get paid or all the other perks to this job and they think I am so lucky. And I am! I am the luckiest! But not because of all that, but because I get to love and be loved by someone like Anna Marie, not because I get paid well or get to eat at fancy restaurants and go on fancy vacations.

I love Anna Marie! I hope, at the end of the day, that she knows that--that she can feel it somehow! I love that I can take care of her and make her happy. I love that I know how to help her. I love that I can be there for her right now. I know it is exactly where I am suppose to be.